8. Day 3 in hospital

 8th June 

I had absolutely no sleep last night. The events will forever haunt me. My poor little baby in a world of pain. 

The Doctor came to see me and said she probably should have got him in theatre yesterday to do a longer line for his meds. She looked sad. She had heard from the handover from the nightshift just how horrific the events were. No matter how much detail I give about the night. No one will ever understand or comprehend just how awful it was. Unless of course you were there. The nurse that was there said it was her worst shift of her career. 

Today Freddie is in a world of pain. His skin his so sore. His lips are swollen. His throat last night looked full of blisters when I saw him screaming. 




Today the plan is to get him into theatre to do the following:

- Get a PICT line in. They last up to 6 weeks. So we don't need daily cannulas.

- skin biopsy to confirm the cause 

- Eye examination- he can't open his eyes so they need to examine them to makes use they are not damaged.

- insert a catheter. It is so painful when he wees. He is very swollen and full of blisters  done below. 

- put an NG tube in. He is unable to eat so will need food somehow. 

They have said they might need to put a breathing tube in if his throat is quite bad and he may need to got to ICU after but they don't think that will happen. Just telling us as precaution.


4.56pm they finally took him to theatre. I went with him while he went to sleep. 

7.30pm we were told they had taken him to ICU as he had a reaction to the anaesthetic. He throat was more swollen than they thought and they struggled to get a breathing tube in.

He needs to stay in ICU. 

It was just before 9pm when we were allowed to go and see Freddie. 

I broke down. My baby. Lying there so still. So quiet. So helpless. The only thing I remember is the beeping of the machines.


That night we had to leave him. Dad stayed in the room on ward 2 and I went home with the baby. 
The chest pains. The heartache. Leaving your child there alone. Sleeping. I cried a lot that night. Dad cried a lot that night. We are meant to protect our children. We are helpless. 


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