7. Day 2 in hospital

 7th June 

So in the early hours his temperature spiked. Again. They had to give extra medicines to try and get it down. 

At 3am he started to refuse to take medicine orally, but with persuasion he finally took his morphine and brufen. 

4am and he can no longer open his eyes. They are tight shut.

24 hours in. He is no better. He looks worse. 

Freddie is now complaining it is hurting when he is weeing. The ulcers and blisters have started to spread 😞.




Freddie is now putting up a fight when they are trying to give him medicine orally. His mouth is full of blisters and sores. 

Nurses have said they hope he is better in 24 hours. 

Oxygen dropped to 89 so they had to put some oxygen on to up his levels. 

All medicines are now through the IV line. Fred can no longer swallow.

Tonight I stayed over with Alfie as I am feeding him. He is no bother. He slept in the carrycot of his pram and I wheeled him in the bathroom. It is nice and dark and has a fan for white noise. 

22.30pm Freddie's cannula line went. AGAIN. He needs another one. Again. This will be his 3rd on already and we are only on Day 2. All of his drugs have worn off and he is screaming in pain. I just want to take it all away. 

Freddie needs a cannula in. He needs his meds. I am frustrated as I had asked the day before for a longer line because it isn't fair putting him through this every day. The Dr said yesterday she would think about it.

23.30pm They tried 4 times to put a cannula in him and they couldn't. 5 adults to 1 child. The screams and the pain is nothing that I will be able to remove from my memory. My poor little boy. In a world of pain. He cannot see, but knows where I am. I feel horrendous. Trying to hold him still with 4 other adults to get a cannula while he is screaming asking me to stop is heart wrenching.

They are now talking about sedating him to get a cannula in. It's almost midnight. 

Alfie his baby brother who was asleep is now awake. Quick feed. He is back to sleep. Back to Freddie. My poor little boy. He is exhausted. His face grimacing with pain. 



  • 1.30am they aren't going to sedate him. It's too early in the morning. They can't risk anything happening. They are going to leave him. If he needs pain relief he will need a needle. They said they will have to try and get him to theatre in the morning. Until then he will have to grin and bare the pain.

  • 4am - change of plan. We tried for a cannula again. This time 7 adults. 
The pain. The screams. The fear in his voice while I held him. He can't see but he is still searching for me. 
They managed to get a cannula. Finally. In his right Arm. He can have his medicines

He went for a wee before he slept and he was in excruciating pain. Shaking on the floor while I held him. I tried to hold back my tears. 
He could feel me crying. Through his own pain he asked "Mammy why are you crying?"
I held him closer and tighter. Wishing I could take all his pain away. 

His morphine kicked in. He was more settled. 

I was hopeful tomorrow we would turn a little corner. But I was going to push more to get a better cannula in. A longer lasting one. 




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